To-Do Lists, Tea, and Tiny Wins: Self-Care with ADHD

When people talk about self-care, it usually sounds clean, neat and tidy. A skincare routine, a bubble bath, or some water with lemon in it to help them wake up in the morning. However, my version of self-care looks more like taking my meds, drinking my tea before it gets cold, and remembering to regularly eat things that aren’t just made out of sugar. 

I was a late-diagnosed ADHD lady, and I’ve always been into my own type of self care, which doesn’t necessarily look like a Pinterest board of relaxation. It’s only recently that I’ve committed to trying to remember that self-care is super important. And that with my ADHD, I have to make a really huge effort to remember to do it, because otherwise my uncontrolled attention will run away quicker than a cat that’s seen a mouse. I’m still figuring it out, I’m only human, but I’m getting there. One messy, imperfect day at a time. 

What is Self-Care?

For me, self-care isn’t always relaxing and chilling. Sometimes it is: I do enjoy painting my nails while listening to some music. But sometimes it’s saying no to another “fun” project when my executive function is already gasping for air. Other times, it’s letting myself hyperfocus on knitting for three hours because it helps calm my buzzing brain. 

ADHD can make it hard to regulate my energy, attention, and emotions. Self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all ritual. It’s messy. It’s what I do to nourish my body and my brain. It’s what helps me recover from the impact of daily life. It’s also something I frequently forget to do (oops). But it’s also essential. 

Here are some things I’ve learned about self-care. 

Look After Your Body

ADHD disconnects me from my body. I feel like I’m in my head a lot, and I forget to hydrate regularly. One of the best things I can do for myself is check in with myself: Am I thirsty? Have I stepped outside today? Have I breathed slowly?

These small check-ins help me stay grounded and in touch with myself. Small wins.

Flexible Routines

Routines are something I struggle with. I love the structure of a routine, but I suck when it comes to sticking to them. It’s only recently that I’ve discovered that I can have a flexible routine - not too rigid, not too loose, just right. A goldilocks routine. I keep to-do lists to help me remember things due to brain fogginess, and can incorporate one thing from the list into my daily routine. When it comes to scheduling my day, it’s flexible to allow for my moods and attention. I always start the day with a bowl of cereal, a cup of tea, and my meds (which I keep near the kettle so that I remember to take them). I have a playlist of nature sounds for when I’m working, providing a great background noise that isn’t too distracting for me. For the tough things to do, I have a cheesy playlist to sing along to so that it feels more fun and easier. Having routines that help me, nourish me, and keep me on track (like remembering to take my medications each morning) play a big role in my self-care. 

Creativity

I love arts and crafts, even if I toss them aside half-way through (sorry to that poor armless cardigan I started four years ago). I’m learning to put aside my perfectionism and use crafts as a process, rather than a race to the end product. If I’m knitting something easy, it keeps my hands busy and gives me enough tactile stimulation while I’m watching a film. If I’m doing a jigsaw, it keeps my brain and my hands occupied, even better if it collides with a period of hyperfocus. 

Creativity gives my brain and hands something to do that doesn’t have to be perfect, or get finished any time soon. For me, that is part of self-care.

Compassion

This one is tough for me, and I’m still working on it every single day. When society seems to prize achievements, it’s really difficult for me to see that my huge effort doesn’t bring the result I hoped for. But that’s often the way with ADHD: things can take a monumental effort. And I can’t wait and hope for hyperfocus to hit me at the right time for the right project. 

I have to learn to accept that “I’m doing my best” is acceptable. Some days I’m in good form, others I’m not. As long as I’m still trying, I’m going in the right direction. 

Final Thoughts

Self-care isn’t indulgent or a luxury: it’s essential for survival and growth. It’s what keeps me going and helps me recover when the world feels too loud or my brain isn’t playing ball. 

And it’s ok to still be figuring it out. I’m learning new things about myself every day, and knowledge is a powerful thing. 

Disclaimer - This post is based on my personal experiences as someone living with ADHD. It is not intended as medical advice or a substitute for professional support. If you're struggling with your mental health or think you may have ADHD, please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional.