Cleaning with ADHD: Why It’s Not as Simple as ‘Just Do It’

Some people have the almost magical ability to look at a messy room, roll up their sleeves, and have it sorted out before the kettle even boils. For me, however, cleaning feels more like climbing a mountain - and by the time I’m halfway up it, I’ve probably stopped to pick flowers, admired the scenery, had a snack, wandered down a side path, and forgotten where I was going in the first place.

With ADHD, cleaning isn’t about “just getting on with it.” If it were that simple, I’d be able to do it like a pro. Instead, it’s about dodging overwhelm, wrestling with a wandering attention span, and trying not to get stuck in the loop of “I should be able to do this by now.”

The Myth of “Just Start”

People say, “Just start, you’ll feel better once you’re doing it!” Or “Starting is the hardest part, the rest comes easily.”

My brain hears that and thinks, “Cool… but where do I begin?” It’s not like flicking a light switch on. It’s a bit more like trying to jump into a skipping rope that’s already spinning round. If I miss the timing, I just… stand there. Waiting. Frozen. 

The Overwhelm Spiral

Even when I do start, there’s no guarantee I’ll stay on track. I might put clothes in the washing machine, spot a mug on the counter, start rinsing it, remember the bed needs making, pick up a book to put back on the shelf and get distracted… and then suddenly I feel too exhausted to finish any of it.

Some tasks are my personal arch nemeses:

• Putting clothes away after washing.

• Making beds (too big, too much movement).

• Hoovering (instantly overwhelming).

• Emptying the washing machine before the clothes get that horrid damp smell...

And then there are the dishes, which can “soak” for four hours, a day, or occasionally longer. Sometimes I get them done, sometimes… tomorrow-me has to deal with it.

The Shame Coating

Mess isn’t just visual clutter; it can be emotional, too. Every heap of clothes or pile of cups on the side whispers “Other people manage this. Why can’t you?” That shame doesn’t propel me into action. It just makes me want to hide under the duvet and avoid the whole thing entirely.

What Actually Helps Me

I’ve tried a lot of cleaning “hacks” that didn’t work, probably far too many to count. These are the ones that somehow work for me:

• Body doubling: I didn’t know it had a name, but having someone there to talk to while I clean somehow works its magic.

• Music: Cheesy, sing-along, possibly questionable taste music.

• Rewards: Promising myself a treat afterwards can sometimes tip the balance in my favour.

• Visible wins: Starting with something small but obvious (like clearing the coffee table), so I can see the progress right away.

Reframing the Mess

I’m slowly learning that cleaning isn’t a measure of my worth, although it is a tough lesson to take. Some days, I’ll get through loads. If hyperfocus hits, you can wind me up and watch me go, I’m a cleaning machine! Other days, the washing machine stays full and the dishes stay soaking. That doesn’t mean I’m a failure, though. It means I have ADHD, which comes with struggles in executive functioning. My way of getting things done might not look like everyone else’s… but it still counts.